Insecurity

I had set out to write this post to commend procomicdiva's observation that people who are highly sensitive to others (as in, they have the gift of insight) are often abused, and the starker the gift, the deeper the abuse.  I have to agree, and it made me start to think about why so many of us are afraid to be ourselves.  It seems that there is a vicious attack on beauty (the single most afflicted "minority" group in the world today is still women), and true self (think about the "misunderstandings" you've had with parents, family or friends and how that affected the next time you shared who you were with them).

I firmly believe that each of us has and is something vital for the world, that we are not our true, beautiful selves, the rest of the world will miss out on something needed.  There are, however, so many barriers to being oneself, including fear of rejection, abandonment and being unsure if one's true self is truly wanted.  I have come across this in numerous women's blogs on here.  I think they are all beautiful, and amazing and I LOVE to read their posts and comments.  Yet, they are struggling with not feeling like they measure up: I've heard some express fears about not being a good enough mom, many surprised that their writing was well-received here, and just a general sense of fear of being their beautiful selves.  Where is all this freedom-blocking fear come from?, I wondered...

And then, I read a post about being "high maintainence".  I'm sorry if this seems like kind of a slam on this, but, honestly, I'm offended, so, it is.  It's a slam on the entire cosmetics industry.  And it's a slam because this is an industry built upon the insecurity of women, brutally and inhumanely tests products on defenseless animals and outsources its labor so that it can pay people who have no other option less than ten cents a day in life-threatening conditions.  All so we can look good and prop up our egos on that.  I do not wear make up because I will never think it's ok to contribute in any way to the suffering of other living things especially those who cannot stand up for themselves (not to mention the toxic affects in can have in humans!), and I don't need to wear fancy clothes or get my hair "did" to feel good about myself, or "contribute to a relationship".

In my opinion, if touching up your make up before your man comes home is seen as a needed contribution to the relationship, something is wrong.  If you need to look good to feel good, something is wrong.  Criticizing someone for "letting themselves go" when it could be that they are finally able to relax in a relationship where they are truly loved for who they are regardless of how they look is wrong. This sort of thinking perpetuates the culture of insecurity and leads to exactly the phenomenon we've got going on here in our women: fear of being their beautiful (without makeup!!) selves.  And, by the way, people get old and wrinkly and don't have the ability to look at "hot" as hip, young chicks even if they tried, but they can still have happy marriages, and I don't think any of us are going to criticize the elderly for "letting themselves go."

As beautiful women made in the image of God, our GIFTS are what matter.  Our talents are what is important.  Our hearts, spirits and souls are what we should be loved for.  We should accept nothing less, and chase after nothing more.