A face changes everything

Have you ever looked forward to meeting someone only to finally do so and vibe that it didn't, for whatever, go so well?  Yu either feel like they didn't like you, or that you weren't what they were expecting or something?  Then, you kind of go around for a few days wondering what you did wrong....

did I talk too much?  Did I not talk about the right things?  Was there something green stuck in my teeth that had the other person so distracted they couldn't even HEAR what I was saying?

And then, you realize that this sea of insecurity is cultural.  It's social.  We are raised, in some form or another, to believe that we are inadequate, not good enough, and need to change to be loved.  Case in point:  Most of the "Disney Princesses" teach us the lesson that if you want to reach your goal (in most cases, it is a "prince"), you have to change who you are: the only way you get what you want is, through pain, to give up essentail aspects of who you are.  Ariel has to become human, giving up her mermaidness and her voice, to get the prince.  Bell has to give up her family and her sense of self.  Women in our culture are socialized from a very young age to EXPECT to have to give up essential aspects of who they are - not only for "princes", but for friends.

What got me thinking along these lines originally was a recent first-time meeting that, fromy side whent well, but from my perception, the feelings weren't shared...Meeting face to face sometimes doesn't work out, but a lot of people use that as an excuse to discontinue pursuing friendship.  I becaome really, really close friends with someone over the phone, but after we met in person, we began "fighting."  I would say it was because of life choices that we'd each made that the other didn't agree with, this friend would say "We met face to face and got more information."  I don't get it.  Does a face really change things that much?  Do people really have to change in order to fit in, be socially acceptable?  How, then, does a person truly experience love if they must squeeze themselves into the culture or social norms they find around them?  Or behave a certain way to be accepted?