Dis-belief

I have recently become fascinated with other religions.  I'm Christian, but I wasn't four years ago - I was so not Christian, actually, that I sometimes still surprise myself by voluntarily getting out of bed on Sundays to go to church.

Despite how radical my shift appears at times to me - I'm studying God in school (theo-logy means exactly that) and reading the Bible for homework - there are also things I doubt that surprise me, too.  Well, I guess not WHAT I doubt, but how strongly I doubt them.  Life after death being the current thorn (or thorn bush...) in my side, I still struggle with the existence of other religions and how we Christians can claim we have the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Becuase, let's face it: saying that "all religions lead to the same place"/"all religions are true" isn't logically possibly (they contradict in vitally important places, but the fact that they contradict at all means they can't all be true at the same time); it's more of a reflection of the inflitration of Postmodernism (that is, "you can believe anything you want as long as you dont say it's "true" since we can't ever know the Truth if it's out there).  More than that, though, it isn't even true to the Bible.  Jesus claims not to HAVE the truth, but BE the truth, and the "only" way to the Father.  All religions make exclusive claims on the truth so let's not get hung up on Jesus' "radical" statement.  Truth, by definition, is exclusive.  If everything is true, then nothing is, which is only important for people who are interested in Truth.

Not only that, but Christians can be real assholes to each other.  It's no wonder that that main reason I hear for why people aren't Christian has something to do with the state of the church.  The Book Christians claim to live by says "The world will know the truth by the love you have for ONE ANOTHER."  Not "others" (though that is an important commandment).  Not "outsiders" (though that's in there, too).  EACH.  OTHER.  It's no surprise at all that the biggest reason for the rejection of the faith is the condition of the church (God's people, for whom the Bible was written).

(The above paragraph comes from an experience I just had: I sent an e-mail requesting an application for a part-time job at my university.  I abbreviated application to app. because the job posting DID THE SAME THING.  I got a response back saying, "I'm sorry, but I need someone who can spell correctly and pay attention to details.  Your subect (yes, she spelled it wrong) line indicates to me that you don't yet possess the skills I need."  Then, as part of her signature she's got a quote from the psalms about how great it is to love people.  This made me want to drop out of my nice, prestigious private Christian University right now.  I LOVE my classes, I love the profs I've had, and I've even started making friends, but this is INTOLERABLE.  You cannot be a bitch and a hypocrite and then quote the Bible in the same breath.  THAT is EXACTLY why people reject the faith, as well they should.  Thanks so much.)